Please stop using AI chatbots for love advice.

We all understand that relationships can be difficult. But relying on Chatbots to handle emotions isn’t the solution. It’s just a good imagination. When he sat across from me, a sad expression washed over my patient’s face. “My date didn’t go well,” he declared. “It didn’t turn out as expected.” For this patient, it was not an unusual situation. Over the years, he had shared numerous romantic anecdotes full of hope and excitement. But before I could consider his words, he continued, “That’s why I consulted the Chatbot for advice on what to do.” Hmm. What? Simulated human-like interactions through artificial intelligence – chatbots, have been in the news a lot, but he had never mentioned using one for relationship advice before.

“What did it tell you?” I asked eagerly.

“He said I should be patient with her values.”

“Oh. Did it work?”

He groaned and placed his hand on his brow, saying, “There were two outcomes.” Though he was my first patient, now it has become a regular occurrence for new patients to seek advice from Chatbots before seeking my own. Often, it can help with love and relationship advice, but it can also complicate matters, define boundaries, or even simplify a complicated friendship. The results are decidedly mixed.

Special feature of chatbots:

ChatGPT provides answers to the most perplexing questions on the web. One such new patient wondered how to commemorate the anniversary of a dear one’s passing with the Chatbot’s help. To consider what is special about that person, place it on your side for your day; this is the advice the bot offered. I could not have expressed it better myself.

He wrote, “When he said what he wrote, it resonated with me,” the patient claimed.
“I felt like I could relieve my pain. That’s why I sought this meeting.”

As a therapist, I am anxious and excited about entering the field of therapy. AI is the future, no doubt. From writing cover letters and speeches to organizing weddings, I have shown that it is effective in every aspect of life. So, can it also help with our relationships? A new initiative called “AI chatbots Companion who cares” by Replika has taken this one step further and even created romantic avatars for people to fall in love with. Other sites, such as, allow you to have conversations with your favorite fictional characters or create bots to talk with you. Where does that leave people, though?

Where does that leave people, though?

Icahn School of Medicine at Mount Sinai Hospital in New York City assistant professor Nama Hofmann said, “While AI may be able to sympathize with a human, its aim is something that is up to you to decide. The most important AI research focuses on enhancing the quality of intimacy in treatment or relationships. While not necessary, it nonetheless must happen.

I am aware as a therapist that outside assistance can enhance my practice.

I have been running the trauma group for over a decade, and I have seen how the machinery of psychotherapy, especially: Seeking Safety-based, facilitates straightforward emotional work. Finally, the original Chatbot, Eliza, designed as a “virtual therapist,” created some discussion because it made people unreservedly ask open-ended questions and even ended up comforting them – and you can use it too. Chatbots can help people find inspiration or even dismantle protective mechanisms and allow them to enter therapy. But where is the line drawn when humans are so dependent on machines?

According to Hofmann, “AI chatbots information can help you cope with your distress, such as BAND-AID, but when you remove it, nothing changes,” he advises caution when using AI to provide answers to therapeutic concerns because “there are many variables in AI-supported treatment outcomes.”

Personality traits, such as the tone of voice and humor, and relationship variables, such as the history you shared, body language, and facial expressions, are all crucial aspects of research. So, even if it speaks like you, the results may still be different.”

In the future of therapy, AI can indeed play a significant role, but there are also other good options available to seek support or therapy. Consider exploring apps like BetterHelp, Headspace, and Calm, which can help you get started or use resources like Psychology Today’s Find a Therapist tool or Zencare to find a therapist near you. There may be other additional options as well.


Talking to your friends can be beneficial instead of talking with chatbots. In this fast-paced world, sometimes AI might not fully understand or provide the emotional presence needed. The quality of AI’s responses depends on the quality of the questions asked. Vague questions may result in vague answers. However, when it comes to building relationships, vulnerability, and emotional connections, AI might not be capable of providing the required support. If you feel the need for security with someone else, the best option might be to show vulnerability yourself. The chatbot may scan its database and generate a response based on the strings of words, but it lacks true empathetic understanding. Regarding relationships, it is essential to take risks and not be afraid of failure. Chatbots are always ready to provide answers, but chatbots accepting that you don’t know something or admitting mistakes is a crucial aspect of human relationships, which may be challenging for AI to replicate. True connection often requires more open and authentic engagement than what AI can currently offer.



In making decisions, especially emotional ones, it’s essential to gather data from various sources. However, giving priority to advice from compatible and suitable individuals is crucial, something that AI might not have set as a priority. Sometimes, you might need guidance in navigating difficult emotions or finding solutions, and that’s where human connection and understanding come into play. Analyzing data may not be enough, and you may need to confront your own feelings. 

The journey to self-discovery and connection can be a challenging process.

Finally, find inspiration. Read great poetry, listen to artists like Puccini, Mozart, and Taylor Swift. Visit museums, immerse yourself in Joni Mitchell’s Blue album by listening to it in complete darkness. Inspiration can come from unexpected places and plays a significant role in our lives.

In the ever-evolving technological advancements, both opportunities and risks exist. While the internet and mobile technology have made information easily accessible, we might have lost some personal connections along the way. AI chatbots is undoubtedly an essential feature of our future, but human connection should not be overlooked. The most crucial building block of society is maintaining human connections and utilizing AI’s capabilities to enhance our well-being and harnessing its potential to address our questions about the future.

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